Pink Bunny Foo Foo

Baby Bombs and Diaper Cakes...

So...the "Bay Area Lesbian Baby Shower" was fabulous. I had a great time visiting with everyone and seeing my friend pregnant was really cool. She looks amazing...she's due on August 2 and has only gained 21 lbs. and it's all tummy, basketball style. The glow thing, yah, it's totally happening with her...so cute.

They raked in the baby swag. They received 6 bouncers, 127 newborn to 12 month outfits (totally not an exaggeration - the kid is going to need to change outfits every 3 minutes to get them all in before it gets too big) - crazy.

They got their stroller, car seat, high chair and lots of other big ticket items. Someone constructed one of those 3 tiered diaper, receiving blanket, crib sheet cake sculptures and holy Martha Stewart - stay at home mom....no way I'd spend the time constructing that and I'm uber crafty. Just not graspin' the cake, diaper, shit theme.

I bought them their Dad Gear diaper bag - no frills for them (black and green)...and I also got a Classic Winnie the Pooh little outfit that had "My First Friend" embroidered on the collar. D was truly my first friend. Our older brother's took each other's matching jackets home by mistake in Kindergarten, so our Moms met because of that. We were 3 when D and I started hanging out every day. Our Moms are still best friends. She cried when she opened the gift.

My Mom and I stayed in a hotel that was pretty swankilicious. We shopped, did dinner and just hung out. This is where my Mom dropped the baby bomb...so I know you've said a million times over that you don't want to have any kids, but do you really mean it? Is there any part of you that wants them? Do you think you will regret not having kids?

She then went on to say how much she loves and enjoys being a mom and that yes, it does change your life...but it doesn't have to be a negative thing.

I went on to explain that I have thought long and hard about it...and I'm just way too selfish to give up what I have. The freedom to be and do whatever I want, whenever I want. I don't want to resent my child or bitch constantly that I don't have time to myself. I don't want to change the current life I have and don't understand why people sometimes view that as a bad thing.

I love being irresponsible when the mood hits. I love that I can just do whatever I want for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I had low fat pop tarts for lunch. yeeehaw!

I like sleeping in on the weekends. I like that I can have a hangover in peace and quiet. I love that I can jump on the back of my husband's motorcycle and not fear that littlemunchkinlovebugsmommymommymommy won't be without parents if we were to crash and go out in a blaze of glory.

I honestly believe it's the first time that my Mom really truly believed that I will indeed not be having any children. I think she had some hope because my friend will be 39 in December and she's had a really smooth pregnancy - if you call sperm donor, failed in-vitro, 10's of thousands of dollars smooth.

Thankfully my Mom has my niece (thanks to my bro) that she can get all grammy with...but I think a little bit of her hoped that I was going to come around or something.

Nope, not happening.

McFatalicious

My neighbor/friend/walking buddy and I came out of our houses at the same time this morning. This was our conversation:

N - I feel disgusting.

Foo - Why? What's wrong?

N - I'm so fat. I hate my outfit. My stomach is bloated. (Grabs belly) Spanks can't fix this shit, I suck.

Foo - How could you even say that? I love your necklace and your shoes are fabulous!

N - Great, those are things fat girls buy because they can't fit into anything else. I am fat.

Foo - Would you stop with the fatness...How come we didn't walk last night?

N - I had to go with my soon to be SIL to try on bridesmaid dresses.

Foo - Ahhh, the truth comes out. The real source behind you feeling Mcfatalicious.

N - I'm a fucking size 16. WTF? 4 months of walking and I'm a size 16?

Foo - That's a fake 16. Pretendville....Bridal Salons get off on making people feel shitty.

N - Mission accomplished.

Foo - They want you to order some massive size...so you feel like shit, so you diet like a mad woman, so you have to pay more for alterations. It's a scam.

N - Fuck, I'm so fat...

Foo - So Ms. Fatty....are we walking tonight?

N - Yes, like 20 miles.

Foo - Awesome...I'll bring my iPod, because if I have to listen to both of us complain about our fatness, I'll self destruct.

N - No, I promise, no more self hate. I'll rip on my soon to be ex instead.

Foo - Double awesome.

Not walking last night was a disaster for me. I called my aqua aerobics friend and she never called me back. Did I go do aqua aerobics without her? Nope...planted my ass on the couch with a bag of goldfish crackers (Hi, I'm 3) and I just pounded fishy after fishy while watching  A&E Intervention.

I had chores to do, exercising to do and all I did was watch TV. My dinner was frozen. Joy.

I'm out of fruit, salad makings, and pretty much everything else. I refuse to go grocery shopping...I'm playing the "must clean out the freezer/pantry" game with myself. This means eating processed shit. Lean Cuisines, WW Frozen meals, Lean Gourmets, etc. Not like some low fat freezer fairy visits on a weekly basis. It's all me. I can't seem to pass the grocery store freezer section. This last round will END my obsession with throwing that shit into the shopping cart. Seriously, If I don't have more than 5 minutes to prepare something, I need a life shift, not a cardboard convenience.

Totally on my to do list - re-evaluating my grab and go lifestyle...it's exhausting.

I ended my evening snuggled up in bed with Hig and the Bachelorette. I cried like a baby through a lot of it. Apparently DMS is in the house...PMS was last week. Perhaps I should have joined the hub who was watching Hostel in the front room...Hostel II is his plan for tonight. I will be working late and apparently walking 20 miles (This translates into 6 in my world)...so no time for TV.

Camp Foo...

My stomach still hurts from camping. Not because I ate too much, but because I laughed so hard. I have not laughed that much in months - it was just what I needed.

It was freakin' HOT all weekend. 104 when we left. We were heading towards the sierras, so the elevation factor helped in cooling things down a bit. We were pleasantly surprised by the drop in temperature - still in the 90's, but there was a slight breeze. We actually ended up with some light drizzle and thunder and lightening before the night was over.

We were greeted with hugs, handshakes and alcohol, shocker. (This camping trip was a work function for my husband) - His boss lives on 5 acres of heaven and it's become a yearly thing. There were two trailers and 8 tents - our tent kicked serious condo ass, thank you REI.

We sat around for the first couple of hours - drinking - and sizing each other up...there were quite a few new employees...so it was interesting to see how they fit into the mix. I was close to the fattest girl there (Yah, don't even tell me you don't do the same thing) - lots of very young, fit, model thin girls, lovely. I honestly didn't let it bother me too much, because the immaturity factor so canceled out their rockin' hot bodies.

Those of us in our 30's and 40's started talking about the 70's and the 80's and all of the products that went along with those years...Oakley Blades, Z. Cavarrici's, Swatches, L.A. Gear, pegged jeans, Slip n' Slides...yeah baby, that was so much fun...an hour of sliding across your front lawn with the neighbor kids...only to have your Dad come home to yell because you tore the shit out of the lawn. Good times.

My husband's boss decides that yes, a Slip n' Slide would be a fabulous idea to curb the misery from the hot weather. A couple calls were made and within an hour...someone showed up with a Wham-O Slip n' Slide Mega Shark - 20 foot slide - It had a boat type thing at the end to catch the person - like a 30-40 lb. child....not a 200 - 260 lb. adult male.

They hooked the thing up to a 200 plus foot hose on the property. Matt took the first run (he's small - like 125 lbs.) no problem...said it was too F-ing short. Then Brent took the second run, he's 260 lbs. - he mowed through the end catch and tore it right off the slide. We could not stop laughing.

My husband's boss took off and got some massive roll of plastic out of his barn/shed and the rest is history. They had a 100 plus foot slide. They placed the thing going down a hill...OMG, it was huge. They used screwdrivers hammered into the ground to hold down the plastic. They set up two running hoses at the top and then they poured dishwashing soap on the thing.

The speed was incredible...they were having a blast. Everyone was getting hurt right and left - perfect work event. Every single guy was peer pressured into a slide run. My husband was totally into it. Engineering the crap out of the thing to get the perfect soap, water ratio...he couldn't wait for his turn. I stood at the top of the hill with him...he backed up, gained some speed and hit the slide running....major belly flop...he's 6'1" and about 190 lbs. He gained so much speed that he sailed off the end of the slide, across about 20 feet of grass and into a wire fence. He cut his wrist, leg, neck and hyper-extended his index finger...not to mention the road rash all over his back. He was hysterically laughing...all of the guys cheered him on. Wasn't sure if I should yell, woohoo or WTF? - I ran with the woohoo! as we high 5'd when he got back up the hill.

The next run included a mattress out of one of the trailers (how white trash can we get) - they propped that puppy up against the metal fence and the sliding resumed. My husband...bleeding like a mother...continued to mix mud, soap and water into his cuts...awesome.

I have to get my hands on some of the photos...I'm sure they are hilarious. The bosses daughter had the camera at the bottom of the run. Matt, the small guy...earned a gold medal. He slid the whole length of the slide on his feet. Apparently he surfs, skates and snowboards...dude has talent.

The guys were covered in blood, dirt, grass and whatever else they picked up from the run. The best part of the whole day was watching them hose each other off, it was straight farm porn - shirtless guys spraying each other down with goats and llamas in the background.

Fast forward - the BBQ dinner was amazing. Tri-tip, chicken, salads, rolls...and more alcohol. There was fishing, golfing and goofing around after that.

We ended the night by the camp fire. This is where one of the newer employees ended her career. Hah...seriously, she was so drunk and not in a good way. The kind of drunk that starts telling the most inappropriate stories...one after another. To say she was a train wreck...would be a huge understatement.

As we sat under the stars with a roaring camp fire, the following came out of her mouth - Pull my finger, I borrowed my girlfriend's dildo, I would totally do a goat, my boyfriend is a whore - he slept with one of my friends, I love farting, etc.

I think I exchanged "wows" with over half the people sitting around the fire. It got to the point where some of the guys were triple dog daring her to sit in the fire. I think she got pretty close to actually doing it.

I'm guessing she will be hating herself at work today.

Much better...but not perfect.

I am doing a little better - I've put the majority of my anger in check. I ended up doing H20 Aerobics and Walking on Wednesday. I took yesterday off and got my car serviced, had lunch with the rents and then spent the afternoon by the pool. I then met up with 2 friends for a double session of aqua aerobics - we worked upper body for the first 45 minutes and lower for the second 45. I am sore today in a good way.

You are ALL right. So what if the scale is teh suck right now...this is doing something for my overall health. I often lose sight of that. I just get so fixated on the damn number that it takes over my every thought.

I'm just sick and tired of work people announcing that they are going on a diet and 3 weeks later they are down 15 plus lbs...god, not even sure how you people are still with me and my blog. I used to be that 15 lbs. in 3 weeks girl...and now I know exactly how it feels to NOT be that girl. I guess everything happens for a reason and there must be a reason that I am struggling so much...long term sustained weight loss? Really grasping that this is for life? Putting me in my place? Teaching me how to be healthy? Not sure why...but I'm hoping if I keep with it, I will get the answers that I need.

The doctor has been called and I'm scheduled for a full work up the first week of July. I'm nervous and excited -I want to get to the bottom of things.

As for weekend plans - we are going camping. ATV's, Fishing, BBQ-ing, Hangin' with llamas, goats, chickens, cows...the property that we are going to is amazing. I plan on being a total outdoor bum all weekend. Can't wait!

uh yah so...

I snapped. I'm fairly certain that PMS was a contributing factor...but wow, totally unnecessary and I feel bad now.

My poor friend that was diagnosed with diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and arthritis in her spine...emailed me about her frustrations with losing weight. The email was titled "I need your support" and it went on to say...it's been 2 weeks that I've been eating healthier. I have limited the amount of carbs I am eating. I'm trying really hard to follow the diabetic diet the doctor gave me. I am eating a ton of veggies. I have managed to get in some nice 30 minute walks and I did spend 20 minutes on the elliptical without tension. She then went on to explain that she didn't understand why the scale hadn't moved and that she was so upset and just didn't know what else she could do.

I worked a 13 hour day yesterday and then ended my evening at water aerobics - Did I want to go? NO. Was I exhausted? YES...I got home around 9:00 p.m. after having left my house at 7:00 a.m...and to say I was cranky...would be an understatement. I fired off the following email -

Welcome to my world. I have been working out hardcore for 4 months and as of yesterday and my 3 lb. gain - WTF??? I'm officially down a mother fucking 4 lbs. So yah...support, I've got none. I'm running on empty. I'm sorry that you are struggling...when you find the answers, let me know.

Um yah...so much for selectively weeding out my friendships - pretty sure the little paragraph above took care of that one. I'm just done. I actually contemplated starving myself today and it's been a while since I've felt that way and it scared me.

I had a male co-worker say the following to me yesterday - "Have you noticed that so and so has just packed on the pounds? All she drinks is venti mochas with loads of whipped cream...probably so she can wash down the candy that she stuffs her face with all day" - I mean seriously, she doesn't have the excuse that you do of a back injury. I was sort of horrified at the comment, so to clear things up...I said, are you saying that I'm fat? His answer back was...well, I was just referring to all of the weight you have gained due to your back pain. I think my jaw is still on the floor.

I immediately called a co-worker to tell her what he said...she was floored. I then told my husband about it last night and he just laughed. He laughed...I paused Tivo and said, why the F are you laughing? He said...yes, you have gained weight since your back injury/steroid fiasco...but you were under weight before and now you just look normal. You are working out more than most people I know...The big question is...How do you feel?

I think my crocodile tears answered his question. I am going to call to find myself a new therapist today and I'm going to call to schedule a doctor's appointment. I've waited too long.

Tyring not to be the buzz kill of Wednesday - Changing gears - I've been tagged by Alli over at Chocolate Cake for the Soul

1. What were you doing 10 years ago? - I was happily living with my late husband. We had a simple life. I worked as a Sr. Web Designer, was part owner of an ad agency in Phoenix and life was good.

2. What are 5 things on your to do list?  - Get my car serviced, Call the doctor, Shampoo the carpets, Plant 2 more trees, Call the dog groomer. (Boring life stuff)

3. Name some snacks that you enjoy? Healthy = String Cheese, Apples, Sweet Maui flavored Almonds, Frozen Grapes, Edamame - Unhealthy = Kettle Krinkle Cut Salt and Fresh Ground Pepper Chips, Jelly Beans, Pepperidge Farm Baked Natural Artisan Cheese Snack Sticks (No way your just having one serving of those puppies), Iced Oatmeal Cookies and Root Beer. God I miss shitty eating.

4. What would you do if you were a billionaire? I would pay off all debt, help out my family and close friends, hire myself a personal chef, trainer, plastic surgeon, image consultant, therapist, etc. Yes, I need that much work. I would also open a children's book store - featuring my own children's books. Saving the world is not an option for me with my current attitude...catch me in a week or so for something more global.

5. Name 3 bad habits you have - I put trash in the sink - lean cuisine boxes, plastic spoons, apple stickers, veggie plastic bags - it drives my husband CRAZY. I am always late to work. Every single day by 5-15 minutes. I talk over people when I'm excited about a topic - I am definitely working on that one...it's annoying - Cussing would be a fourth. yes, way more bad habits than just 3.

6. Name 5 places that you have lived - San Jose, CA - Sunnyvale, CA - Incline Village, NV - Sacramento, CA (That's it - I only have 4)

7. Name 5 jobs you have had - Retail - The Gap, Old Navy, Crate and Barrel  - Graphic Design Apprentice at a Pre-Press Shop, Graphic/Web designer at an ad agency, designer clothing sales rep.

8. What is currently playing on your iPod? David Cook, SATC soundtrack, Madonna, Coldplay, Depeche Mode, Erasure, Sting (This is since this morning - I made a shithole Wed. play list)

9. List the last 5 good books you have read - I have been reading A New Earth for the past 5 months - yes, I suck that much.

10. Who do you want to tag? - I'm out - grab it if it strikes you.

We're so breaking up...

This past week was filled with lots of exercise. Aqua Aerobics - Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I am loving the exercises. Soreness while brushing your teeth is a good thing...right?

The webbed gloves and the water barbells are a crazy upper body workout. My chest/arms aren't used to being worked.

My co-worker and I are really pushing ourselves. She has knee issues and problems with leg cramps when we tread water or do the scissor slices or cross country skiing exercises. I get cramps when I wear the aqua runners on my feet. We laugh and everyone stares at us, it's fabulous.

Friday, Saturday and Sunday...I followed my hour H2O Aerobics with 5 mile walks. I also managed to get some bike riding in on Friday and Saturday - totally casual, nothing hard core.

I am loving switching things up. Not only am I using different muscle groups and feeling the workout soreness throughout - I'm having fun!

I did pretty well with eating all weekend. Not perfect, but I did make some decent choices for the most part. I am not counting points, haven't been for over a month now. I'm not eating CORE, just trying to stick to healthier options and smaller portions. Sometimes it works, sometimes I grab for the entire bag of pretzels...go figure.

I was in charge of planning Father's Day with my Dad. I opted for healthy. DH and I BBQ'd chicken breasts and cut them up for salads - lettuce, corn, tortilla strips, celery, BBQ/chipotle dressing - A lot healthier than it could have been.

We spent all day at the rents house...the visit included taking my Dad to upgrade his cell phone to a bluetooth phone. My gift to him was a bluetooth headset. I about died laughing when he broke out his last cell phone bill - My Mom and Dad used a total of 6 minutes last month. 6 minutes? OMG...that is crazy. I'm actually freakin' out about getting a new iPhone because I don't want to pay more for data...and I use the thing every waking moment...My Mom and Dad are paying 68 bucks a month for 6 freakin' minutes. Peace of mind is apparently worth 68 bucks to them...interesting.

We got home from the Father's Day hangout and I was exhausted. Dog wrangling, cooking, cleaning, driving...I pretty much just wanted to take a nap. Nope, I went to my aerobics class, then ended up walking with my neighbor - 4 miles.

So why???? Why is the scale being a big fat bitch? I know I shouldn't scale hop - tomorrow is my official at home WI - but I have late night dinner plans and I don't want to suck lettuce and sip water just to see a good number. As of this morning I'd not only have to do that, I'd have to sever a limb to see something good.

It's just not happening this week and this upsets me greatly. Yes, I'm feeling better...Yes, my clothes fit a little better...Yes, I'm getting tan from pool time...but a smaller number would be sprinkles on top...DAMMIT!

Dress me up...

O.k., so I need to find something to wear to a lesbian baby shower. Sure, I could have just said baby shower, but lesbian sounds like a much bigger deal and I'm over the moon excited for my friends.

It's in 2 weeks and right now, we're sitting at close to 100 degrees today and while the weather is cooler in the bay, I'm guessing it will be in the high 80's to low 90's at least.

I want to look cute, sassy and feminine. The shower is being held in a beautiful garden at a ridiculous estate. Lawn area tables and seating, so limo heels are definitely out - not just out because of lawn aeration and the totally inappropriate F-me message at a baby shower, ...out because we have to hike a bit up the front drive to get to the backyard. Parking is supposed to be a mare.

For some reason I'm liking this Banana Republic dress - not sure I could pull it off, but I'm thinking it would transition well from day to evening with the proper accessories. I also have a BR gift card. I'm thinking these cute Lauren shoes have potential. I love kelly green with black and white, I think a pop of color would be a good...and then maybe a black heel and black wrap for an evening out with my Mom and some friends. A pop of red would work too...hmmm, the possibilities.

I will definitely need to try the dress on. Sight unseen ordering doesn't always work well for me. I have a weird shape when it comes to dresses. My top is bigger than my bottom, but not apple shape big, just a little, which usually ends up meaning alterations in the hips and I'm running out of time for that.

My Mom said she was going to wear a linen pants suit. I explained that even if she changes at the hotel, we still have a 20 minute car ride to the shower. Nothing like looking like a freakin' accordian when you get out of the car. She is re-thinking.

I also need to find something to wear to my 20th HS Reunion in September. Sure I could sit here and think I'm going to lose massive amounts of weight by then...but the reality is, probably not going to happen. It's been almost 4 months and as of today, I'm down 7.4 lbs.

I need to get something now, because Fall is pretty much rollin' in...and it will still be toasty at the beginning of Sept. I could go little black dress, but I want to be different - shocker. I guess I could always go funky with shoes/accessories - Kate Spade slingbacks with maybe a chunky necklace. I always go for halter style dresses, they seem to be the most flattering and I don't hate my shoulders...so it usually works out. I actually have a potential dress, but I love wearing new stuff and how it makes me feel when I have an event to attend.

My HS Reunion is a big deal. I didn't particularly love high school, but I was friends with a lot of different groups and I'm very interested in re-connecting with some of the people I've lost touch with. Sure, I could just get a Facebook account, but that's not happening.

I'm excited and nervous at the same time. Excited because I've been emailing back and forth with a dear friend that is on the reunion committee - she keeps sending updated lists of people that have paid to attend. Nervous because I will always have "fat girl" mentality and I'm already tugging at my shit just thinking about it. The reality is that I am smaller now than I was in high school...but I can't help but wish I was back down to 140 lbs. for the reunion. I also know that would mean me not eating until September and I'm strong enough to know how incredibly unhealthy that would be. Like as in, I'd be dead unhealthy.

The one thing I have is PROOF that I was at one point a very thin person. I am going to be armed with my wedding photos - especially for the pre-reunion, more casual, get togethers with my closest friends. Not like I'm going to bring a suitcase full of skinny photos to the reunion, but I want to show off my husband, my beautiful wedding dress and my rockin' thin bride body! I want to do all of those things...but if I don't...nobody would ever know that I gained any weight back...because like I said, I'm smaller than I was in high school. What to do, what to do, what to do and the bigger question, why does it even matter?

Did I mention that it's in September? Yah...why am I wasting head space on it this morning? Um...because I have some down time and I was shopping online for damn lesbian shower dresses...shopping gets me down on myself every time...why do we women torture ourselves so much?

Anything dirty or dingy or dusty...

I need a new subject to bitch about...let's talk trash.

My city schedules each neighborhood for a junk clean up day. Each year we use this as an opportunity to get rid of cardboard and other junk. There is no recycling center anywhere near us that takes cardboard, and we could be cutting boxes for days to fit them into our recycle bin.

So yah...last night was spent prepping for junk day. We broke out the box cutters, broke down box after box after box...probably over a 100. I sell clothing and boxes arrive at the house weekly and car parts and motorcycle parts frequent the porch often.

Yesterday also happened to be freakin' windy on top of windy...I had placed about 30 boxes in the driveway...ready for cutting and one major gust and I was running down the street chasing boxes...fabulous.

We got about 2 pallets of cardboard out to the street. Team that with some backyard junk and we were golden. My car can actually fit in the garage again, woohoo!

I heard a crash this morning and immediately knew what had happened. Someone...decided that they wanted ALL of our cardboard at about 3 this morning. 2 guys in a truck piled Sanford and Son style were cruising the hood for junk. They had bicycles, BBQ's, Furniture, etc. more power to them,  people were throwing the stuff away, but show some junk pride, they rifled through stuff, leaving trash all over our sidewalk, the street, etc.

I straightened the pile up around 6 this morning. I added an old, crusty, hose and 3 giant planter bowls - still full of dirt and dead plants, yes, I'm that lazy. About 15 minutes after putting them on the pile, a woman and her daughter pulled up in a Honda Accord. Late 90's model. I was totally spying out my office window...they looked around all stealth like, the Mom popped the trunk and they put all 3 planter bowls in the back of their car...but not before dumping the dirt and plants out on the sidewalk. WTF is wrong with people?

Friend up, or You're Out - Auf Wiedersehen

I am very good listener, just not a silent listener. It's like every force prevents me from keeping my damn trap shut. When friends call distraught, when people disappoint me, when people beyotch about their lives and jobs and do nothing to make them better, I can't just sit and listen - I must offer up my opinion/advice, even when it's not asked for.

I have made every effort to try to just be a good listener - often times that is all people need. I know that. I myself want that at times. I catch myself and I am usually able to silence things for a few more spewed sentences and then I can't stand it anymore. 

I wish I was a "no big whoop" kind of person. I wish I didn't care about my friends so much...I wish I could just stand by patiently while they figured their lives out...but I can't.

I prefer active participation in a friendship and I know that isn't everyone's thing. I seem to be a magnet for people that don't share the same values when it comes to friendship. I get that people have different personalities. I get that shit happens. I get that life gets in the way of friendship being a priority at times...I get all of that. I'm not talking about canceling out on dinner plans, not RSVPing to a party, never having money when it comes time to pay the bill, etc.

I'm talking about not playing an active role in a friendship. Only reaching out when you need shit. Selectively returning phone calls or emails. Dominating every conversation with drama filled stories and complaints and never asking how the other person is doing.

I think the reason every broken friend dials my number is because they know that I'm not just going to sit there and agree with everything said. I'm not going to say I understand when I don't and I'm not ever going to be fake. 

So why? Why do friends call me, spill their guts, actually ask for my opinion or advice and then not like my response? Then I get the big shut out...lovely. I have never given them anything but the truth. If they are looking for a fantasy friendship, perhaps they should dial:
1-800-priincessyouarealwaysright

I know I've complained about this before...but maybe it's time to clean out more than my closet and drawers. It's time to get rid of all of the one way friendships in my life. I think I've finally come to the realization that I can't save the world. I can't fix everything. I can't make people like me. My perfectionism would love for me to think differently, but it's just not realistic.

As a kid, quantity way outweighed quality when it came to friendships - the one with the most friends/toys=winner!...Not so much now that I'm older.

Here's what I'm looking for - Someone who is unguarded, genuine, thoughtful, loyal, original, creative, has the ability to make people laugh and to find humor in every day things. Someone who is present in my life on a consistent basis - dependability is key, has a true sense of their own values and respects mine if they are different. Someone who is welcoming, who sticks by my side through good and bad - friendships do not need to be puppies and rainbows...I realize that everything is not always positive...but mother humper, a little effort would be nice - oh and someone who likes long walks on the beach would complete this personal ad.

Is this too much to ask of someone? I feel like I put all of these things into my friendships, should I have to lower my own standards? What does friendship mean to you? Am I missing something? 

I think I just need a chill break from answering my phone for a while. I definitely need a friendship break. Disclaimer: This does not include a break from all of my Intarweb friends - this means a break from people that are continually disappointing me and bringing me down on a daily basis.

Pink Bunny Vroom Vroom!

This weekend was filled with way too many indulgences...I loved it!

Friday night was an evening out at Ruth's Chris Steak House with some friends. I got all dressed up and looked cute, ate too much, drank too much, but had a lot of fun.

Saturday was spent cleaning. I cleaned out my closet, kitchen cabinets, drawers, etc., not sure what got into me, but I was on a mission. I have an entire car full of stuff to donate. It felt great when I finished.

We got together for another dinner out with friends Saturday evening. We ended up back at their place until 11:00 just chillin' watching re-runs of season 3 - Feasting on Asphalt, they had never seen the show.

We got home around 11:15 and the hub said he had a lot of work to do. He had to finish a project to email off to a customer by late Sunday morning. I hit the bed and crashed. He came in and woke me up at midnight - to wish me a Happy Birthday. :o)

He stayed up "working" - I woke up around 3:30 a.m. and he still wasn't in bed...I was way to tired and lazy to go check on him...so I just continued sleeping. I woke up when he came to bed around 4:30. I asked if he finished and he said, "no"  - ugh.

We stayed in bed until 8:00 and he got up to get back to work. I called my walking partner to start 38 years out right. She couldn't make it. I instantly got in "shitty" birthday mode. I knew DH was going to be working most of the day and I just started feeling sorry for myself.

We needed to eat breakfast and nothing sounded good. DH had baked me a cake on Saturday and we opted for that...at 8:30 a.m. - He sang the birthday song, I sliced and yes...cake for breakfast was consumed...and you know what? I went swimming right after. Breaking ALL the rules!

I hit the pool and did a bunch of exercises and laps. I then decided to hold down a lounge chair with some magazines. Then my phone started ringing off the hook.  Love me the birthday calls. I got to catch up with everyone, including my best friend from Kindergarten through High School and beyond - She is pregnant and super excited about her first baby. My mood/funk started to lift...

I went into the office to make hotel reservations for my friend's baby shower weekend in the bay area and then I came out of the office to find this epic b-day gift parked in the entry way.

It's a Cadillac Eldorado Pink Bunny Foo Foo Cruiser! Freakin' Sweet Ride. I love it. My sneaky husband was putting it together the night before...not doing work at all.

I was in my bathing suit and flip flops and I actually contemplated taking it for a test ride like that...but quickly changed my mind after a quick mirror check. I threw on bike shorts and a t-shirt and took my new baby for a spin. No tailbone pain, check...totally out of shape, check...

Walking and biking, totally different cardio workouts...this is going to be the shock my body needs. I plan on riding to work 2-3 times a week. Team that with the daily 5 miles of walking...and aqua aerobics starts tomorrow - I'm taking classes with a co-worker...if this doesn't give my body the push it needs, not quite sure what else will.

We ended the day at my parent's house. We took my niece to 2 different parks for some mild rock climbing, hiking, swinging, sliding, etc. My Dad threw some skewers on the BBQ and BBQ'd veggies were had by all.

It ended up being a great birthday. Today it's back on track with eating, that's for sure.