It's a long one...

I know that lots of us have been playing the "weight game" for years. The ups and downs are the most frustrating part. One week you are on top of the world, the next week you are shoving candy into your mouth like calories don't matter. I was playing the up and down game for most of the year. I couldn't understand why I couldn't stop gaining and losing the same 10-15 lbs.

I sat and thought to myself...I've done this before, I can do it again. What is my damn problem this time? Why can't I stay on track for more than a week at a time? I would get on the exercise bandwagon here and there...sometimes working out up to 4-5 days a week. I tried changing my foods to experience new things and I made every attempt to take my vitamins and get my water in. I felt like I had improved my life so much over the past 3 years.

I was no longer the 225 lbs. I started out to be. I was making healthy choices the majority of the time and I was working out when my body allowed me to push through the pain. I was conscious of my health.

I honestly believed and convinced myself that everything I was doing was enough.

Plain and simple - to lose weight, it was NOT enough. To maintain weight - for the most part, it worked fine.

The decision had to be made. Am I comfortable weighing 15-25 lbs. over my goal weight? Do I truly believe that I've given it my "A" game?

These are hard questions to answer truthfully. You always want to acknowledge how far you've come, but at some point...you need to let go of that. You need to look at the here and now and decide if you want to keep going. The same way you need to let go of what you looked like when you were thinner...when you got married, before kids, when you made goal. The HERE and NOW people...that is the hard part because for a lot of us, the now is so much better than the before. Our bodies may not be as small as we want them to be, but damn, we look great compared to where we were. We've improved our lives so much, why can't that be enough? Only you can answer that.

We will be surrounded by tons of temptation over the next 3 months. Parties, potlucks, holiday treats, family gatherings and cocktail hours, they all add up. I was just emailing back and forth with a couple of friends talking about how fast those things add up. If you give yourself the freedom to eat for the upcoming holiday season, you are looking at a solid week of bad eating.

It takes a really long time to counteract that damage. Ask yourself, Is it worth it? Is 5-7 days of indulgence worth it?

What got me through my first holidays being on WW was a lot of self talk. It sounds stupid, but it's true. The food will always be there. Some items that are homemade will not always be around, but I guarantee that you can most likely get the recipe and all of the ingredients will be found on store shelves 24/7. I had to let go of my normal thought process. It's the holidays, everyone indulges...it's Aunt Diane's famous pumpkin pie, one slice won't hurt.

There was ALWAYS some sort of mental justification going on in my head that I had to counteract that with, "Is it worth it?" Is it worth busting ass to lose the same pounds over and over again? In some cases the answer could be yes, it just depends on where you are at mentally.

Any food plan whether it be WW, Jorge, Atkins, South Beach, Jenny Craig, etc. is not about damage control. The idea is consistency. It's NOT about eating well 4-5 days a week and shitty for the remainder.

That is the part that I NEVER grasped. I justified my actions by saying to myself, "Thin people do that." Thin people indulge and get back on track. The only difference is that I don't share a thin person's mentality when it comes to food. If I binge, overeat or indulge, it takes longer for me to get back on track. I continue to slip a little here and there. I grab a handful of unplanned stuff, I slack on portion control, I slip with workout intensity.

The promises to myself were made and I found myself breaking them the same or next day.

I thought by going back down to 20 points even though I should have been at a solid 22...I would give my body the boost it needed. My body pretty much went into shock. I was probably eating around 30-40 points when I was faux doing WW. My pretend OP weeks consisted of 4 OP days and 3 days of just going through the motions without actually tracking anything. My body didn't like the drastic change. It wasn't functioning like the fat burning machine I wanted it to be.

Your body won't let go of the weight unless you give it enough fuel. I've increased my points and I'm already feeling better. No more headaches, no intense cravings, no feelings of deprivation.

I got my shit together and I stopped fooling myself. I actually have done everything in my power to not get totally crazy this time around and it is working. The scale is going down again and I'm feeling so much better.

I do believe that people do hit weight plateaus. I do believe that the second, third, etc. time around, the weight comes off slower. I do NOT believe that your body will remain in a plateau state for more than a couple of weeks to a couple of months if you are doing everything correctly by switching things up.

Maybe your plateau is exercise related. Have you been doing the same thing for a long time? Are you switching it up to use different muscles? Are you increasing your intensity and distance? Are you adding weight to your strength training routine? Are you working your circuit in the same order? Do you always workout at the same time every single day?

Complacency can really delay our bodies ability and desire to let go of the weight.

I do believe that our bodies like it when we get to a certain weight. They try really hard to maintain that set point and that is when most plateaus start.

If what you are doing isn't working...MAKE SOME CHANGES and stick with them. You owe it to yourself. Losing pounds you've already lost again is a bitch. We ALL know that. Don't undo what you've already done. Make a promise to yourself that you will give this your all. You will get through the holidays and you will hit 2007 running.

My question to you, are you giving this your all? If not, what can you do to change your attitude? Do you have an action plan or tips for people to get through the holidays?

Comments

[Jessica]

Good post, good thoughts....

[Hilly]

You and I talked about this yesterday but my theory with this is like everything else in life...if you keep doing the same thing and end up with negative results, how many times do you have to bang your head before you change what YOU are doing? (you in the colloquial sense, of course).

To anyone who does not think that a little treat here and there will fuck you up and that says "oh but it's just the holidays".....first of all, when did being thankful have to be about being thankful for 4 slices of pie and about 10 hot totties? When did Jesus' birthday become about who can get the most drunk and eat all of the leftovers? Yes, I am being overly dramatic because I know these are both social occasions, "here's to good friends and family" type things and that is what we do.

However, last year, I employed the fuck it all method and gained 15 pounds between November 1st and mid January and have spent this whole year backtracking to get it off and then pick up where I left off on my journey. It can damage you immensely if you don't watch it.

This year is about other stuff for us and I am not giving in to holiday madness carrying my "every excuse I ever have needed" book!

[Amanda]

Even if I don't lose anything else between now and the holidays my goal is to not gain during the holidays.
This is going to be a really, really tough holiday season and I think that will either work in my favor or destroy any good intentions.

[Foo Foo]

I'm right with you Hil. I easily gained a solid 10 lbs. from Halloween to New Year's last year and this post is my first step in not going there again this year. I'm not planning on perfection because that gets me into trouble too. I am planning on allowing myself to splurge on special items, not a whole day's worth of meals.

I am not trying to sound like a big know it all, fuck, I've only been back OP for 9 days...I don't "know it all" - I'm not claiming that I don't screw up and get back on track every other week...because up until now, that was what I did.

I just needed to put it in writing that my weight gain was fully self induced and that the holidays will not upset my current "A" game because I'm trying really hard to get a handle on things before I venture into "fall off the wagon" land.

[Foo Foo]

Amanda - setting a goal is the perfect holiday solution. A maintain through the holidays is a huge victory.

[Katie]

I've never commented before, but am a regular reader (otherwise known as the lurkey turkey). I always like your posts, but this one really struck me - a real wake up moment. Thanks for your honesty. It's made me be more honest with myself. Time to set a goal, make a plan, stick with it and quit making excuses. I feel better already - thanks again!

[karen]

Great post Kathleen. I so relate to how difficult it is to get back on track after treating myself, and then the thinking I have that I've been OP for four days so now I must be "done". This is one that I will print out and read on a weekly basis. Thanks!!!

[...jus me]

You are my inspiration for the day! I put you on my blog roll and even posted with a link to you today. Your post makes a lot of sense. Thanks for putting all my thoughts on paper for me...great post~

[duenneschen]

wow...

ok, i always enjoy your posts but recently they've really helped.

i know we are all in this journey together, but some weeks/days it seems like i can relate to certain people better than others!!

keep up the great work!!!

[christie]

i don't know why but last tuesday the bug officially bit me. i have been trying to get back on the wagon for about five months now. maybe it was the weight i gained, how i saw myself spinning out of control or simply that i had moved back into my "larger" clothes but something has clicked. my main goal is to be honest - journal and admit what i've done. now if only i can keep the infamous bug around.

my plan for the holidays - set a fitness goal for early spring, exercise more for food insurance and try to keep it all in perspective (the pie will be back next year but if i really want a small piece - that's cool too). good or bad - that's my plan.

[jodi]

your post was so on the money... i feel like i've been doing all the right things but maybe i'm not... i switch up my weight routine and i alternate cardio machines and yet still feel that isn't enough... a part of me wants to say, "if i never lost another pound, i'd be okay with that" and another part of me is saying, "5 more pounds... 10 more pounds... 15 more pounds"... plus going thru personal things doesn't help, i just want to hide under the covers and never come out... as always, your post was very inspiring... :o)

[alea]

Thank you for that post! You wouldn't believe how much it spoke to me today... Exactly what I needed to hear!

[beee]

I love this post :) You are so positive and motivating!!! Thanks! You make so much sense.