Pink Bunny Foo Foo

A title would be nice...

Let's see, healthy eating? Oh yes, that is what I WAS doing until Friday of last week. Wow, the wagon not only veered off the road, it pretty much plummeted off the edge of the cliff and broke into a million pieces.

It started with a work BBQ in a local park. There was ping pong, white elephant bingo, guess the baby/kid photo, a DJ and lots of other things to distract me from the homemade chocolate chip cookies, macaroni and potato salads, hot dogs, chips, etc. - but no. I noticed every detail of everything on the table and I indulged in the salads, 2 single serving bags of chips, 4 chocolate chip cookies and soda over the course of a 3 hour period . Yes...I drank a real Pepsi....but here's the best part...I took the hot dog, but passed on the hot dog bun. Yes, because that made a huge difference. What? You don't think so?

I then went to sushi for dinner - just ordered one roll of the non healthy tempura, overly sauced type. It was delish, but was not going to be canceling out any damage done earlier in the day.

I told myself that I was going to really be on my game for camping. I started off the morning taking 2 bites of Dan's Cinnabon - clearly that was very important in getting back in the game. Sigh. I then decided to make myself a turkey on whole wheat sandwich for lunch. a few apple slices, some SF Jello and I was back on track. There was hope.

We got to the camp site and several people had already arrived. (This was a work thing for Dan - around 20 people) - we stood around...drinking until more people showed up. Some headed to the pond to fish, others took out dirt bikes, some played basketball, ping pong and whatever else they could get their hands on. I held down a chair. I did go on a small walk, but in flip flops...not like I was breaking a sweat.

The food started coming out...Effing A - chips and onion dip....have I mentioned that is my absolute downfall? There was a table full of every camp/snack food you could imagine...chips on top of chips, cookies, brownies, candy...I was definitely in trouble. I just kept eating. The force of the crap food kept me glued to the tables. Nobody else seemed to care...so I didn't either.

The camp site is more of a farm type thing. There are llamas, goats, chickens, turtles, frogs, dogs, etc. There are creeks and ponds and every bug this side of the equator. I sprayed myself with bug spray and I'm beginning to think it's the nectar of the gods for them. I am sporting 14 mosquito bites and ready to itch my face off. Yes, I even got bit on my face. WTF? Has anyone tried any non traditional mosquito repellent products on the market? Bug spray sucks ass. Avon Skin-So-Soft sucks bigger ass. Is there a magic necklace? A special invisible net? Citronella perfume? Help an itchy girl out. I need to do something because I have a whole summer of outdoor parties, etc. I've been using "After the Bite" on my bites and it's meh...works for about 5 minutes and then it's back to wanting to kill someone.

We ended up having a ton of fun. The horrible eating continued well into the night. I think I ate my weight in peanuts sitting around the fire. My arm is sore from throwing shells into the fire, that's how many I ate.

It was freezing, but I slept pretty good. We woke up with the chickens and I was determined to do better with food. Not so much...huge pieces of french toast, powdered sugar, strawberries...it was brutal.

Whatever...we ate, said our goodbyes and off we went.

We headed towards my parent's house for Father's Day. We hung out with them for a bit and then all of us ended up at my brother's for the evening. Lasagna, garlic bread, apricot cobbler and ice cream...it was perfect food porn to end my wonderful weekend.

I chose not to get on the scale this morning. I am going to skip scale hopping until my official WI on Friday. If I was to get on the scale to see a big gain, it would take away from the awesome memories of my camping trip and family filled weekend. I don't want to give the scale that much power. Not this week, not ever.

So far so good with getting back on track today. It has been surprisingly easy. Water...water...water...veggies...veggies...veggies...I'm feeling great!

Back to blogging...

The birthday celebrations lasted all week long. I realized that having a blog, being on Facebook and Twitter and working two jobs, makes for a very cool Interwebs birthday - thanks for all of the wishes. Team all of that with a gala event at work and the close of the Spring clothing season and I have been one busy woman.

I can't even begin to tell you how happy I am to get back to some level of normalcy as far as my schedule goes. Today starts my second 30 day exercise challenge. I did end up taking 5 days off from exercise. I needed it, my schedule didn't allow for much and it was a nice, temporary, break.

I ate so many meals out - I knew Friday's WI was going to be a disaster...yep, I was right. I was up 3 lbs. - but thankfully I had a busy weekend filled with huge amounts of stress - didn't grab for food to deal...just didn't have time. I am back to my pre-birthday weight already, so no damage control needed this week.

I ran into a girlfriend over the weekend that has been working really hard to lose weight. She has managed to take off over 75 lbs. in the last 8 months. She is 30 lbs. away from her goal. She wants to get breast reduction when she gets there. I'm so excited that she's almost there...she has struggled since I've known her to get the weight off...and her G's will soon be D's - what an awesome goal gift.

I've been doing my own research regarding boob docs. If I could actually stay at my goal weight for more than a 1/2 hour...I would definitely consider getting a boob job. No reduction, just putting them back where they belong and evening them out, would be nice. I think it's really important to be at a steady weight before making any decisions to go in that direction. I'm too inconsistent right now to even make an appointment.

Nothing else exciting to report. I'm out of groceries, bored with food in general, excited to start exercising daily again and in a pretty good place in all areas of my life. Dan and I are going camping this weekend and I'm looking forward to getting out of town. We might take the motorcycle....but only if I can figure out how to take the mattress and our 5 person tent with us...hah! 

It's my....

Giant cupcake bitches! This was Dan's masterpiece - I absolutely love it and wish my BFF Hilly was here to enjoy it....o.k., 1/2 of it...because I've already mowed through the other half.

I present to you...The birthday breakfast of champions. A perfect way to celebrate 39 years of goodness. Sprinkles and all.

P.S. He purchased a giant cupcake pan off Amazon and he used a pastry bag for the "PINK" icing...who loves me? Yah...that's right....he's a keeper fo' sure.

What's next?

Gina asked what's next after the 30 days are up? Good question...I've definitely been thinking about it a lot. I honestly thought that at the end of the 30 days, I'd do a belly flop onto the bed, throw my imaginary confetti up in the air while shouting - "Thank freakin' God this BS is over!" - What was I thinking?

This is nothing close to what I have planned.

I did get a gift card to a spa a few weeks back - I will be scheduling a massage as a reward. I never thought this challenge would develop a consistent habit. Sure, I've read the same studies that all of you have - "It takes 21 days to develop a habit" - I just never believed that I could exercise every day without feeling burned out or resentful.

I think the most important thing is not the number of days, number of calories or any goal number. It's what happens if you can't workout for a day or if you go off your eating plan for even "one" meal.

What dialog wins out?

A: Fuck it...I already screwed up by missing my workout yesterday...it's just 2 days, it's just 3 days - Sure, I can go to the movies.

B: I'm so pissed that I didn't stick to my food plan - Hey, do you want to get dessert? Sure, might as well really blow it before I get back on track tomorrow...then tomorrow never happens.

C: Big deal, it was one day, life happens. My next healthy meal and my next workout will feel that much better - then you actually follow through with it.

I'll pick "C' for $200.

The cool thing about setting a goal is that you get to celebrate every single day of getting there. Some of my posts have been titled - with challenge days, etc. It feels good to cross off the days on a calendar, to post about completed days on my blog, to email friends about my actual workouts, to post "has completed 4 miles on the treadmill" on Facebook.

So what if it bores the crap out of some? I'm proud, I'm celebrating, everyone is entitled to have their moment.

Please understand that you will most likely get some resistance if you openly talk about your exercise challenge. 30 days of exercise without a break? What do you win? What do you mean there is no prize? You are doing this on your own? That's weird...why? What prompted this? You are fine the way you are...

The deal is you are making people think about themselves...people like to put down or question others to build themselves up or to rationalize why they aren't doing something in or with their own lives. It's not about you...it's their own thing. Don't make their baggage yours. Don't listen to it, don't let it stop you from pushing yourself towards something new and exciting.

Note: I am talking about cardio when I say 30 minutes of daily exercise. A body can handle that. Now if you have an injury, sure, 30 straight days...not a good idea.

Be smart about things. I did do balance and stretching exercises on top of the cardio - but for the most part, it was the treadmill or walking and running outdoors. Wii Fit aerobics, running and a few exercise DVD's and swimming mixed in.

I used the 30 days as my own personal trial period. I do it with new software, why not exercise? I usually end up purchasing something if I did indeed use if during my 30 day "free" trial...Why not embrace my new found "30 minute" love of cardio?

I'm going to keep going. My next goal is to break it up a bit more between swimming/water aerobics, biking and trail running/walking intervals. I'll still check in with the Wii Fit and the treadmill when it's too late and not safe to be outside by myself, but I'm aiming for more time outdoors and away from technology and everything that keeps me anchored to my phone, computer and the interwebs.

Last night was one of those tough nights. A night where things didn't go as planned. My friend had to cancel on dinner - which really bummed me out. I caught myself thinking that Dan and I would go out anyway...then I started fantasizing about all of the crap food I would order...nachos, pizza, dessert...then I started to realize that I was prepping to squash my feelings with food. I was disappointed that my friend canceled, plain and simple...I didn't need to feed those feelings.

We opted to stay home. I made Dan a deli sandwich and I had a huge bowl of cereal and watermelon slices for dessert. I stomped my way to the treadmill as Dan watched TV. I had every intention of jumping off the thing as soon as I saw 30:00 - instead, I got myself wrapped up in a Hallmark movie and I ended up doing 48 minutes. I will watch the rest of the movie tonight. I followed my workout with granola trail mix and an episode of Ugly Betty - I'm way behind on my DVR.

The night was filled with major thunder and lightening - I didn't sleep too well with Higgy wrapped around my head...poor little guy, he was pretty freaked out. I'm hoping to get to bed early tonight. I pretty much won't have a night free until Wednesday of next week. Lots going on, but I feel pretty good about having a plan.

Day 27 - Did someone say presents?

27 days of my self induced 30 day workout challenge are D.O.N.E. - I feel amazing. I stepped on the scale this morning and was rewarded for all of my hard work and dedication for the month of May. A new decade and a smaller pant size. I also took measurements and in 27 days I've dropped an inch off my waist, hips and thighs...and a 1/2 inch off my chest. I am definitely more toned.

30 minutes is really not a lot of precious time to give up. I have noticed that there has been a huge shift in my thinking and priorities - some of my workouts have been an hour, some 45 and 50 minutes, but there have been 30 minute days too. With a 30 minute minimum, you are working out 15 hours for the month. I have actually tracked my time and I'm at 1177 minutes as of this morning. 19.6 hours. I used to spend 2+ hours a day working out. Logging over 700 minutes a week. That is how I lost the weight doing WW the first time around. Where did that get me? Burned out with a messed up tailbone, back pain and no where but up for the scale when I dialed things back. 30-60 minutes every day is doable.

There have only been a handful of times that I felt like there was no way I could get on the treadmill, Wii Fit or hit the pavement. I really did have to force myself. Several of my workouts didn't even happen until after 10:00 p.m. - crazy to get into bed after that...but I did it.

I wanted to go into my 39th birthday with the confidence of knowing that I had given a solid effort towards bettering my health. So far so good...I will be 39 on Monday and I feel great!

I've been keeping busy with party plans. My husband and I are hosting a birthday/scavenger hunt/BBQ at the house on Saturday. I've been working on the scavenger hunt list, prepping the backyard for the party and menu planning. We've decided on chicken, beef and veggie kabobs. Easy prep, everything is grilled at once and my brother makes a killer marinade. Dan is going to make my cake...it's a tradition that he started the first year we were together. The boy doesn't cook. He heats things up. He bakes out of the box brownies occasionally....but he takes so much pride in my birthday cakes and the decorating, it means a lot.

A very good friend is flying in from Arizona tonight and we are going to meet him for dinner. Can't wait to catch up and to hear about his upcoming wedding plans. We go way back. We worked as Jr. Designers at an ad agency fresh out of college. He now owns his own firm and is very successful. I do have some regrets about not doing the same...but I also enjoy sleeping and having a life.

It's amazing how this whole life balance thing works. I find it fascinating that it took me 5 years to get here. Not sure what clicked....but I think a huge contributing factor was finding the right group of people for support, guidance and friendship. Weeding out the people that sucked the life out of me. Weeding out the people that obsessed about every pound and every morsel of food. (The people that used to be me) - I think switching my focus to reading blogs of people that have found "balance" has helped a lot too. I'm not claiming to have mastered anything - we know where that got me before, I just think I'm in a good place and who wouldn't want to ride that out?

The sense of urgency has gone away. I never thought it would...but this challenge has shifted my way of thinking. If you have been thinking about creating your own challenge...do it!

You make the rules, you find the strength within yourself....it's the only way to make it stick. You don't need a fancy gym membership...you don't need a high priced trainer...you don't need someone else kicking your butt daily...you need to believe in yourself and you need to realize that giving yourself 30 minutes a day, is an awesome gift to you and your body.

Checking in...

This past weekend my husband and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary in San Francisco. We had a fabulous time and realized that we need to getaway more often. Our financial planner calls it marriage insurance, I think there is something to be said about that. I love that getaways allow a couple the time to recharge. We have some of our best conversations when it's just the two of us - without a care in the world. No job stress, phone calls, emails, etc. to take us away from each other.

We shopped, people watched, ate, drank and really enjoyed ourselves. We left beautiful sunny 80+ degree weather to bundle up in sweaters, jackets and scarves. I loved it! Thought my boots had seen the last wearing, nope...got more use out of them.

Eating and exercise didn't go so well. I take that back, exercise went fine. I got in way more than 30 minutes on Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Yesterday was the first day of skipping a workout since May 8th. I had a monster headache that hurt just to step on the ground. I spent the evening in front of the TV with Cocoa Pebbles and Vanilla Soy Milk. Total crap cereal, but I didn't care. I followed that up with chocolate covered raisins purchased at Ghiradelli Square. My body needed chocolate. No, really.....it did.

I also watched the new season premiere of Tori and Dean - loved it! Tori makes me laugh and the dynamics of their "on camera" marriage is very similar to mine...she cracks me up. My husband now wants to go to motorcycle racing school...awesome. 

back to SF. I didn't stress about eating in San Francisco. I enjoyed every bite of my super rich crab and corn chowder in my sourdough bread bowl. I loved my meal at Postrio and I skipped my regular Starbucks Skinny Vanilla Latte in favor of full fat hot chocolate before bed. Heaven and true vacation eating at it's best.

I swear I've had chocolate on the brain lately. I'm thinking of indulging in dark chocolate more during my normal week of meals. I know some of you do that already.

Reading the comments and emails about my last photo post really helped me to realize that my issues are just that, "My issues" - I place too much importance on the scale number and I forget about all of my other accomplishments. So I have bigger boobs and wider curves...not such a bad thing according to my husband. It's just hard to let go of a number, a dream number and sizes you once owned. It's hard to accept that as you get older, a bigger number is probably more realistic. I think I am almost there and it feels pretty good to finally be nearing peace when it comes to my weight and size.